Call from The Papa!

Translation = CALL – FROM – GRAMATICAL MISTAKE – MY DAD

This is the Voice mail my Father leaves me every time he calls me and I cannot pick up my call. Now don’t get me wrong, My Papa [Dad] is a very well educated Chartered Accountant by profession and an extremely well reputed one in Bombay, India. But there are some things he believes in very strongly. Like these few grammatical mistakes that he makes with confidence coz he thinks that that is how they should have originally been. It’s not his fault that Rennin Martin didn’t know English Grammar when he wrote his books on it and confused the entire world. So he called last night and this is how my conversation with him went.

Me: Hey Dad, wassup?

Dad: I’m fine Beta [child]. How are you and howz everything going?

Me: Great dad. Works going well, I’m moving to my new apt on the 4th of august, I lied to mom about cooking last night [ I haven’t cooked in 2 months ] so don’t tell her that, I broke my index toe [that’s another story… I’ll tell u guys some other time..ok? Now back to papa], but its ok now. And I ran 12 miles last Saturday.

[ and I stop. I wanted to hear his “WOW, THAT’S AMAZING HONEY!” expression…yeah right! y else do u think I told him? ]

Dad: That’s good Beta. But you know what you should try? You should try to run too.

[I KNOW! Was I talking in Spanish when I told him I RAN 12 miles? And he even understands a little bit of Spanish…what the hell]

Dad: [continued]…Jogging is very good for health. Try a very short distance at first. But good to know u covered 12 miles walking. How long did you take?

Me: 3hrs 10 mins…but Dad, I did RUN the 12 miles. [I could see the smoke coming out of my nose, ears but not mouth.. I do Not smoke!]

Dad: What ? U R-A-N 12 miles? [yessss..he did spell it out for me..ohh god!] But how can you have run and taken sooo long?

Me: Dad I run very slowly. I take like 16 mins per mile.

DAD: ohh don’t worry honey, when you come to Bombay you can run with me. I will walk at your pace.

[Now I am re-thinking my entire endeavor to do the Marathon at this point. I am training primarily to make my parents proud of me right and then myself too…and now I see no scope of that ever happening… I will always be walking a Marathon in my Father’s Eyes]

Me: Yes dad!

Dad: So how do you feel? [Finally understanding the importance of the achievement his daughter had just acquired.]

Me: Everything hurts dad. My whole body. I cannot walk for 2 days after every long run. And I run during the week too. My coach is very sweet and all but she is also very strict right. So she makes us run like for hours everyday… It’s really tough dad. [so I exaggerated, so what!.. I’m sure you guys do too… so don’t point fingers at me ok…and COACH… I love you!.. I promise ;-) ]

Dad: Ohh Beta! Please take care of your self. This is too much. If your hurting everyday and you cannot even walk how are you going to get to work? And even if you do get to work, how are u to concentrate on work with an aching body? I say your overdoing it. Please don’t over do it.

Stumped! At this point I stopped talking [again]. I cordially said I had to run coz I had to meet a friend for dinner..and then corrected myself by saying I meant that I was going to walk to dinner and I hung up.

My Upbringing is filled with inconsistent messages! No wonder I am always confused.